Marathon Recap

I wrote my 2nd Toastmasters speech in reflection of the Marathon, so I decided to share the text of my speech here. I delivered it yesterday in my meeting as written. Mike says his experience was almost identical, except for instead of the intense mental block, it was his knee, which is feeling better by the way! -Kelsey

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Exactly one week ago today, I finished my first marathon ever. Today, I do feel accomplished and proud of myself, but a week ago, after I had finished the race, I felt incredibly defeated and humbled. I only began to appreciate my achievement when I started reflecting on the lessons I learned while struggling through 26.2 miles with over 20,000 other people. In some cases, I can even recall the specific miles where these lessons occurred.

Mile 11: A lesson in perspective

In many marathon races around the country, an organization called Wear Blue: Run to Remember organizes “blue miles”. For one mile of the race, they place pictures of fallen heroes from our armed forces lining the mile along with volunteers holding American flags. It’s incredibly moving, and everyone continues throughout the mile in silent respect.

It may seem like the reminder that we’re alive is an easy lesson to learn, but breathing and living aren’t necessarily the same. Breathing is automatic, is going through the motions...living is a responsibility. I saw another sign on the course that said “There will be a day when you can’t run”, and I was so grateful for that perspective in that moment. I want to feel the weight of my living every day, and the beginning of the marathon was a reminder of that weight. This race would end, and after it I would keep on living. In that way, this suffering was a gift because it let me know I was alive. All I had to do was suffer well for 15 more miles.

Mile 20: A lesson in motivation

I had one goal going into the race: to finish. There is a point in the race between mile 18 and mile 20 where you have to get across a long bridge by a certain time or a little golf cart will pick you up and chauffeur you to the finish line. I had heard from many friends about the mental drive needed to “beat the bridge”, but what I wasn’t prepared for was what to do when I met my goal. I beat the bridge….and then I didn’t know what my next goal was. All of the sudden continuing to run seemed like a very silly goal. At that point, I could just walk to the finish line and still complete the race. And let me tell you that, 20 miles into a race, your brain is not best equipped to deal with existential questions of “Why am I running? Why is anyone running?”. Setting realistic goals (and backup goals once you kill your first goal) would have helped me avoid this awkward conversation with myself.

Mile 22: A lesson in community

After you “beat the bridge”, you have already run through Georgetown, past all of the monuments and downtown, and a lot of the crowds have thinned out. You’re literally running in parking lots and on asphalt the rest of the way. And I don’t know if you remember, but it was really hot on Sunday, so the heat is just radiating throughout your entire body and you’re miserable, but not miserable enough to end the race faster. You just have to marinate in that discomfort and try to keep moving forward.  Needless to say, I felt completely alone. I had turned my music off to save my phone battery for after I was done with the race, so I didn’t even have music to distract me from my misery. I was so stuck in my head that I decided for a moment to escape into my surroundings and notice all of the people around me.

Around then I saw a woman go up to a guy and ask about his shirt for leukemia/lymphoma awareness. I was really trying to distract myself so, yes, I eavesdropped on their conversation. He had been in remission from cancer for about a year and a half and this was his first marathon. Her dad had passed away from the same cancer, so she knew a lot about the treatment. The guy had actually broken his back during his illness and doctors had sworn he’d never be able to walk again. But here he was completing his first marathon. I will never stop being in awe of the people on the course with me who inspired me and reminded me I wasn’t alone.

Mile 24: A lesson in autonomy

At this point of the race, I was having a full-on tantrum in my head. I don’t know if you’ve had moments in your adulthood where you’ve been reduced to a child who just wants their mom to come and make everything better, but this is the place I was in. Because the thing is...although I wasn’t alone, I was the only one who could finish the race. No one was going to put one foot in front of the other for me.

I had no choice but to trust myself to get my body to the finish line. And once I realized it was a party of me, myself, and I for the last 2 miles I gave myself one last pep talk  and persisted till I crossed the finish line.

4 months ago when I started training for this race, I thought I was training for a finish line that would leave me feeling unstoppable, victorious, or even just a tiny bit awesome? Instead I felt humbled, confused, and emotional. Had I really just trained for months….every weekend….for my body to feel that broken? Over the past week, I’ve gotten a lot of perspective on the experience that I think is best summed up in a quote I found in a NYTimes article “When you are humbled by a race, you realize what the purpose is here. In managing to dig so deep, you discover who you are. “The ego wants a perfect race. You [either] get in this to feed your ego or nourish your soul.”

So now if you were to ask me “Do you think you’ll sign up for another marathon?”, I’d have to say “Eh probably not...my soul’s feeling pretty nourished, and I don’t want to learn anything else about myself right now.”

Our Finisher medals!

Pre-race setup.

Nasty Woman nails to remind me that I'm the only one who tells myself what I'm capable of.

Our Dory face tattoos from Kelly and Alex!

Adele

Remember when I tricked Kelsey into thinking that we didn't get Adele tickets because she found out that I got us Adele tickets?  Well, a few weeks ago we finally got the chance to see her.  Even though it's October, Adele asked the crowd how many people were there because of a Christmas gift.  Everyone raised their hands except for Kelsey, because it had been so long that she forgot why we had tickets.

I'm not normally a concert person, but Adele had a way of making the entire Verizon Center feel like a small venue.  She is either a very genuine person or an incredible actor, and I'm inclined to think she is just genuine.  Also, she is just as good of a singer in person as she is on any recording.

Obligatory crummy ten second clip taken on a cell phone that doesn't fully communicate the experience.

If given the opportunity, though, go see Adele in concert.  And also Hamilton.  I do enjoy recommending things that are not already wildly popular and impossible to get tickets to, but this really hasn't been a representative year for that.  Sorry.

For some reason, Kelsey and I were still feeling a little sick from our Williamsburg trip, so after Adele we bought ourselves some provisions.

Dessert, ginger ale, and carrot juice.  We've gotten into carrot juice lately.  The green one is "organic."  They tasted the same.

That weekend we went to a coworker's wedding and also went to The Brig with Alex and Kelly.

We like The Brig because they have many different kinds of glasses.

This past weekend we went down to Charlottesville to visit Brian and Kay and Oliver James Paljug.  We were very excited to meet Oliver for the first time.

Kelsey was the most excited, of course.

He was very good when we went out apple picking.  Since it was late in the apple picking season, the picking was more like hitting apples in high branches with a metal pole until they fell down.  In retrospect, that's probably more fun than actual apple picking.  I also got some apple cider slushie.

Cider tasting!

Kay and Mike picking apples with a stick.

Also this past week we received a wedding present from Daisy, my grandmother's friend from China who became my friend from China when I met her back in 2008 while I was there studying abroad.  It took so long to get to us because the original was lost in the mail, but it is a beautiful traditional paper cutting.

Demonstrated here by Kelsey

Tomorrow we run our first ever marathon.  And then we eat and sleep.

Busch Gardens

Many weekends ago we were able to go to Busch Gardens with my family and spend a whole weekend together with them. We're pretty behind on our blog, so this is going to be a quick one of pictures that doesn't capture all of the amazing that happened that weekend!

First sight of Busch Gardens and the roller coasters! Ashton & Uncle Mike.



Ashton and his "Boo" ghost face paint. Too adorable.

On a big ride with Uncle Mike! He did so well!

Getting to meet Cookie Monster! Busch Gardens has some excellent rides and experiences for children.

Ashton was so excited for the ladybugs!

Precious boy when we arrived the first night and he was already asleep<3

Family<3 Sister, mom, me:)

Then Mike and I ran 18 miles on the Colonial Parkway! It was muggy! We didn't sleep that well the night before due to colds and we had to carry water bottles in our hands the entire way, but we made it! We finished right next to the William and Mary Campus and got cheese shop after:)

Next blog will be about Adele!

Two Weekends: Glennon and 10-miler

Weekend 1: Glennon

Two weekends ago, I (Kelsey) got to see one of my heroes and role models speak about one of her newest books. Glennon Doyle Melton is the author of Carry On, Warrior and Love Warrior (currently NYT bestseller and Oprah's book club pick). She writes the truth about her life as a mom, partner, and woman in recovery from alcoholism and an eating disorder. She's also become an activist for women and children worldwide and for those with mental health issues. I was so grateful to have the opportunity to hear her speak free of charge and nearby. 

Glennon!

I also ran into the Director of the nonprofit I volunteer with and we both got a picture with Glennon.

Weekend 2: Reston Perfect 10-miler

This past weekend, we also ran a 10-miler race with Kelly and Alex! Mike and I warmed up with 3 miles because we technically need to be running long distances. We all did really well and loved the cooler weather! I averaged just under 9 min miles and Mike averaged around 8 min miles, I believe.

Before the start of the race!

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After with our medals! Then we headed to Ted's Bulletin for a solid recovery brunch.

Tomorrow, Mike and I are headed to Williamsburg to hang out with my family at Busch Gardens and I'm hoping the weather cooperates!

Labor Day Weekend

I always forget how hard September is. Summer seems like a drowsy buildup of projects and getting "ready" for the students to arrive. Then, when they get there, you just have to hope your preparation was good enough to get you through the challenge of the next month and a half. 

I suppose that's how the marathon will be. You just hope that by doing the painfully long runs you will be able to finish the race. Not even running for time. I just want to finish. And that's how I feel about September.

Looking back, it's starting to feel silly that I put all of this on my plate: marathon training, start of another school year, starting a new personal training gig, and some additional professional development gigs during such a busy season. But then I realize that sense of anxiousness is all fear. I'm afraid I won't finish. I'm afraid I won't be able everything perfectly. I'm afraid I'll drop the ball. 

And I remember that I don't have to do everything perfectly. I show up. I put in the work. I ask for breaks and rest. I ask for HELP. I lean in to the uncertainty and vulnerability. I care. I try. Even when I'm not sure what the outcome will be or IF I will be able to finish the race. Half of the battle is fully showing up for the challenge, and it wouldn't be a challenge if it was easy.

The mental challenge of getting through training during such a busy time, trying to rest enough, trying to eat and hydrate enough, and not quitting is harder than I thought it would be. And I'm so grateful I'm not doing it alone:)

Anyway here are pictures/adventures from Labor Day weekend: a much needed 3-day weekend!

-Kels

Friday night: Pineapple & Pearls dinner date

Last Friday Mike had made reservations for us at an incredible restaurant called Pineapple and Pearls. It was pretty fancy, but we felt the need to treat ourselves to a date night after a rough 2 weeks. It was incredible, and definitely one of our top dining experiences ever!

Friday evening after work, Mike was working late before our dinner reservation, and I took my time meandering through the city to listen to an awesome musician play some covers.

Pretty flowers outside Pineapple and Pearls.

Our last course at Pineapple and Pearls. The box was for if we were too full and wanted to take them home. We obviously ate them there:) I guess technically the last course was the flash brewed coffee and pistachio shortbread they sent us home with to enjoy the next morning for breakfast. Obviously they speak my love language (coffee&cookies).

Pineapple and Pearls complimentary cocktails to start the evening. One of my favorite parts of the entire experience was an ice cream course we had with several different flavored ice creams that Mike and I each split. The restaurant manager remarked that he'd never seen a couple so easily divide and conquer that dish equally. I married well.

Saturday and Sunday: Kels's Home and visiting Brian&Kay

Saturday we made it out to see my family and this almost 3 year old. <3 My sister got a new job so we were there to celebrate with her, see my grandma, and hung out with my mom/stepdad and some of their friends eating crabs.

Beautiful country sky on Saturday evening!

Another pretty sky view.

Wine tasting with the Paljugs in Charlottesville...Some amazing wine out there! Can't wait to meet Baby Paljug so soon!

Monday: 15 miles run to Mount Vernon

Last weekend we ran 15 miles (our longest run yet) from Gravelly point near Reagan airport to Mount Vernon. 

Recovering from our 15 mile run with Richard and pizza in Del Ray. 

Mike Goes on a Field Trip

Many people assume that because I am in the Navy, I have had the opportunity to do some "real" military training.  This is mostly false.  This past Friday, however, I had the opportunity to go down to Quantico for some training simulations.  I'm hopeful that nothing I learned will ever be useful to me in a practical sense, but it was a humbling experience getting a slightly better idea of what some of my clients might actually have to go through.

First, we got to go to a weapons simulator where real weapons had been modified to fire electronic signals at screen projections.  As these were enormous machine guns and rocket launchers, I was okay with the modification.  They were terrifying enough as-is.

And really, if the lawyer needs to know how to operate a grenade launcher, things are not going well.

The RLSO representatives.  All rifles are plastic.  Heavy plastic, but plastic.  Behind us is a vehicle rollover simulator which we were very bad at escaping.  Protip: the quick release seatbelt buckle must be facing outward, away from your body, in order to function as a quick release seatbelt buckle.

Convoy simulator.  Probably one of the more advanced driving simulators that exists.

I got to be the turret gunner.

Today Kels and I continued our marathon training by running another 12 miles.  At some point I expect they will get easier, but I suppose not this week.

We started at the marina and then ran down Mount Vernon trail.

Made it!

Trip to Cumberland and Marathon Training Updates

This past weekend, Mike and I headed to Cumberland to see his family and celebrate Leslie's birthday. On our drive up Friday night, we stopped by an El Salvadorian restaurant for dinner. I'd been wanting to try "pupusas" for a while. They are a signature dish of El Salvador that is a handmade corn tortilla stuffed with beans, cheese, and sometimes pork. They were so delicious!

Pupusa Pic.

The next morning, Mike and I had a long run the next morning, so we woke up early to beat the heat. It was a beautiful 10 miles along the C&O canal, but still very hot and sweaty. We made sure to do plenty of stretching and cooling down after.

This was when I took a walking break:)

The Cumberland

Amphitheatre at the start of our route.

We look much better than I felt.

Later that day we went to the mall and went shopping. And Leslie, Linda, and Rachel rode around on these little automatic zoo animals that you could ride around the mall. You'll have to go to Leslie's Facebook for those gems. That night, we went out to The Henhouse which has amazing crabs, fried chicken, and of course, chicken noodle soup. I know Mike already posted about this, but the table did get to witness how ineffective I am at ordering. 

On our drive home, we ended up passing several vineyards in a row and ended up saying "alright, if we see 3 more, we have to stop at the 3rd one". And we did, so we did. 

I made Mike take a picture with a view of the mountains in the background. 

It was our first wine tasting together.

This was the point where we wanted to move in. 

Grapes!

As for marathon training updates, we're up to 13/14 miles on the weekends and are trying really hard to 1) eat a lot of good running fuel, 2) drink a ton of water, 3) rest and recover. I've also started putting my personal training knowledge to good use in designing exercises that will support our marathon recover. The kick I'm on right now is exercises that focus on the glutes (butt) and hamstrings (back of thigh) that will help support us during our longer runs. Mike even agreed to come with me to the gym on Monday so I can practice training by taking him through a sample workout:) I know my mom gets worried with me running such long distance, but we are staying as cool as possible, drinking lots of water, and running in areas with lots of others runners:) Let's just hope we can stay injury free for another 2 months!