Monday, November 13, 2017

One Month Already?

Ava is already 1/120th on her way to being ten years old, which is a pretty big milestone! She continues to be a delightful potato and is starting to enjoy snuggles to the point that she will not go to sleep unless she is being held. Double-edged sword, I guess. 

And she sure does... tolerate... baths.

Not upset by them, but not super happy either. Benign indifference?

And of course every grandma that comes to visit touches her and she immediately falls asleep as a perfect angel regardless of whatever was going on immediately beforehand. Thanks, Mom.

We did a photoshoot to celebrate her being a month old. I will let you in on a secret: she does not look towards the camera and assume a cute pose on command. You have to work for it.

Here's some behind-the-scenes magic. She enjoys tracking the black-and-white pattern on this squishy toy thing.

And some of the finished products. One month! Perfect baby! 
Only took one(hundred) picture(s) to get this one!

Probably a future gold medalist in a hand to hand combat Olympic event!

This past weekend Ben finally came back from Japan and came to visit us on his way to training for his next job!


He was very excited to meet Ava too. Not as excited as she was, obviously.

And in other milestones, I missed a really big one in Corpus Coopsti and took this picture to document my shame.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

First-Time Mom Feelings & Pictures

Kelsey here. I just put Ava down for a nap that hopefully sticks, but I just wanted to quickly share some thoughts about motherhood so far and some pictures I had on my phone from grandma visits. 

Thoughts on being a new mom:
  1. It's one of the hardest things that people have been doing since humans have existed. I remember thinking during labor that I can't believe every human being comes into the world that way and that people end up doing it multiple times. (Hopefully one day I'll write my own version of my birth story, but no time today!) Well, once the baby comes out of you, it's still hard. I don't have a ton of experience with infants, but my body housed this child for 9 months and is now her sole provider of nourishment. It's absolutely crazy! But, you know what, throughout the world's entire history, humans have successfully raised their offspring and they didn't even have Google. 
  2. It takes a village. Being a new first-time mom can feel pretty lonely and overwhelming (even when you have the most awesome husband and family in the world like I do). Trying to figure out breastfeeding while your body is still recovering can be particularly hard which is why I am so glad I sought out resources here in CC like La Leche League and the Navy/Marine Corps Relief Society's visiting nurse program which sends a lactation consultant to do home visits. I've also joined several mom Facebook groups and hope to meet more moms in the community once we have more of a routine down.
  3. Self-care has never been more important. I am being very mindful not to push myself too much during these early days and to appreciate the slow pace of my days as much as possible. However, I also know that getting out into the sunshine is good for both me and Ava. Other things that are super important: eating lots of nutritious food and staying hydrated, baths and showers, taking breaks when I can, and asking for help.
  4. Perspective helps. There is a huge identity shift that takes place when your body and all of your time is now spent keeping a baby alive. My body and time are no longer 'mine', and while I'm still adjusting to that, it has bothered me a lot less than I thought it would. This is a temporary and fleeting season and my body and time are a very worthy sacrifice for giving this girl everything that she needs. Getting my 'body back' is actually the furthest thing from my mind at this point and I think it will take me a lot longer to get back to regular workouts than anticipated. Every day is different and there's no plan or road map, which can be a nice forced slow down for someone who likes a plan for everything:)
I was listening to a podcast and heard this poem within the first week of being home and it really resonated with and spoke to how my soul was feeling in that exact moment with my body still healing from labor, waking up every couple hours to feed, and feeling a lot of initial pain from breastfeeding. I thought it was so beautiful that I had to share.



To be a Mother is to suffer;
To travail in the dark,
stretched and torn,
exposed in half-naked humiliation,
subjected to indignities
for the sake of new life.

To be a Mother is to say,
“This is my body, broken for you,”
And, in the next instant, in response to the created’s primal hunger,
“This is my body, take and eat.”

To be a Mother is to self-empty,
To neither slumber nor sleep,
so attuned You are to cries in the night—
Offering the comfort of Yourself,
and assurances of “I’m here.”

To be a Mother is to weep
over the fighting and exclusions and wounds
your children inflict on one another;
To long for reconciliation and brotherly love
and—when all is said and done—
To gather all parties, the offender and the offended,
into the folds of your embrace
and to whisper in their ears
that they are Beloved.

To be a mother is to be vulnerable—
To be misunderstood,
Railed against,
Blamed
For the heartaches of the bewildered children
who don’t know where else to cast
the angst they feel
over their own existence
in this perplexing universe

To be a mother is to hoist onto your hips those on whom your image is imprinted,
bearing the burden of their weight,
rejoicing in their returned affection,
delighting in their wonder,
bleeding in the presence of their pain.

To be a mother is to be accused of sentimentality one moment,
And injustice the next.
To be the Receiver of endless demands,
Absorber of perpetual complaints,
Reckoner of bottomless needs.

To be a mother is to be an artist;
A keeper of memories past,
Weaver of stories untold,
Visionary of lives looming ahead.

To be a mother is to be the first voice listened to,
And the first disregarded;
To be a Mender of broken creations,
And Comforter of the distraught children
whose hands wrought them.

To be a mother is to be a Touchstone
and the Source,
Bestower of names,
Influencer of identities;
Life giver,
Life shaper,
Empath,
Healer,
and
Original Love.
Now for the pictures!

Space onesie with her basketball hat and shoes from Auntie Courtney and cousin Ashton.

Walking outside with my mom (Meme) at the wetlands preserve.

First family pic with Mike in peak dad form.

Tummy time! Her neck is already super strong, but she still hates tummy time:)

Another path at the wetlands preserve with Grandma Leslie.

Sunset at the wetlands preserve

Last date night out before Grandma Leslie left....tried a new cocktail bar downtown!


More tummy time in her dinosaur outfit and doing her 'raptor' face.

That's all the feelings and pictures I have time for today! You know I'll keep sharing, though:)

Friday, October 27, 2017

Look, we all knew this was going to be more Ava pictures

I go back to work on Monday, so maybe the pictures will slow down. Maybe not. Ava is two weeks old today, so that's a legitimate milestone to post about, right?

Rupert has continued his long game of feigning disinterest while secretly stalking Ava.

Kelsey's mom got here on Wednesday and has been a huge help. It is clear that Ava is already a fan.

Her umbilical cord is almost completely off, so she has started doing tummy time three times per day. She prefers tummy time on this blanket that Nanny Mary Ann got her. 

 She makes good use of this time and struggles mightily against the forces of gravity. Based on this and her many attempts to escape from swaddles, Kelsey has given Ava her first earned nickname: Kicky.  

She even managed to kick off one of these shoes that Aunt Courtney sent. That said, she is very well behaved when we go out and she is in her car seat.

Speaking of seats, Ava has become more interested in her high-tech toys that bounce her around.

Also, I have realized that her crazy eyes look really familiar.... 

Oh right. There it is. No problem! Everyone just remember to think real good thoughts around her. 

Ava, when you are old enough I hope you appreciate all of these pictures. Please don't wish me into a corn field.

Sunday, October 22, 2017

A Few More Ava Pictures

By popular demand:

My coworker Ann very kindly lent us some high tech gadgets from when she had a newborn. This is one of them. Instead of rocking back and forth, it sways from side to side and hops around to simulate being in a car. Ava is not a huge fan yet, but then again she has only ever been on two car rides.

We call these her crazy eyes. You would think they might signify that she is going to soil her diaper. It does not. The meaning remains elusive.

Sometimes she just likes to chill out like a rock star.



This is her favorite sleeping position. Head to the right, arms up.

Brian and Kay sent us this cute little baby holder that lets us put her on the couch with us without worrying about her rolling off. 

That's all for today! I have one week of paternity leave left before I have to go back to work, but Kelsey's mom is coming to visit starting on Wednesday so we will have some backup.

Bonus picture- we tried the baby sling carrier for the first time today. 

Complete success.


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

A Baby Story

Ava Noel is five days old. Basically in college. I think we have all learned a lot from each other already.

I have some pictures of her. But before we get to those pictures, it is important to preserve, for memory's sake, some photographs of what happened the day leading up to her birth. One day she might ask what we were doing that day. Well, I went to work and Kelsey had a job interview.

You might ask how the job interview went. It did not. Instead she spent the morning doubled over in pain every three to seven minutes and kept track of her contractions using an app. There's an app for everything.


"This contraction is not fun, but it brings us one step closer to meeting Ava." I said that sentence between ten and fifty times during Kelsey's labor, but I did not actually believe it. I knew that it was factually correct (unlike when I told Kelsey, often, that her contractions were almost over, and was flat out lying), but that didn't make it real for me. 

Kelsey did stay in good spirits most of the day. She stayed hydrated, warm, and as comfortable as possible. I was home from work in anticipation of going to the hospital at any moment, so I took pictures. Most of the pictures are of an unhappy Kelsey in pain, so I don't really see a point in putting up more of those. You get the idea. 


There is also one of Kelsey making me a smoothie. I am sure she is very glad that she asked me to stay home so that I could document everything.

Around 6:00PM, the contractions got to the point that it no longer seemed reasonable to stay in the relative comfort of our apartment. The car was already loaded up with everything we needed, so it was an easy five minute drive to the hospital. When we arrived we learned that our doctor was on call that night, so we were pretty excited about that.

After we arrived at the hospital, Kelsey's contractions quickly went from one every three minutes to one every minute. This took the labor from something that was intermittently painful to nonstop torture. It was difficult to see Kelsey in that kind of pain, so I was relieved when she eventually asked for some medication. Her exact words were "I don't need to be a hero." She already had done heroic work, of course.

Another quick (endless) six hours after that, and the nurse called the doctor and let Kelsey know that it was time to start pushing. Kels was initially resistant to the doctor's instructions (she insisted on letting her breath out instead of holding it) but once she worked through her mental haze it only took three or four more contractions for Ava to get here. I was surprised by how much of a baby she looked like when she popped out. I was expecting something more like an alien, with a cone-shaped head and all that extra stuff you normally see on newborns that needs to be cleaned off. After cutting the umbilical cord, I grabbed my camera since everyone else had specific jobs to do and that was the only thing left to me.


I call this one "I had a long night too." It is the first picture that I took of her that was not blurry. The nurse was busy doing initial measurements. 20.5 inches long with a 14 inch head, if anyone was curious.

And it was over like that. Ava was here! The doctor and nurses left us alone in the room for an hour for us to get to know her, and then we moved to another room down the hall for the next two nights.


She was extremely well behaved for someone who was less than a day old, and just wanted to rest or eat for a while.


We love her chubby cheeks. That means she was getting good nutrition from Kelsey and Kelsey's decision to not eat anything fun (sushi, deli meats, soft cheese, and any meat not burned to a crisp) for nine months paid off.


Ava loved being swaddled. Now that she's a big girl of five days old she likes it less. She has become so independent in such a short amount of time. She might change her mind again.


This is one of the last pictures I took at the hospital before we were discharged. Ava and Kelsey had to spend an extra night because Ava had to sit under the anti-jaundice lights. She recovered well from that.

On Sunday, October 15th, we were able to take Ava home and show her around. In between feedings and diaper changes there has also been time for more photo shoots- a trend that hopefully will continue even after I go back to work.


Did I intentionally model her like this? No, that would be silly. Did I sit for fifteen minutes snapping hundreds of pictures waiting for her to naturally happen upon a cute pose? Yes, several times.


Rupert has reacted predictably, given his dichotomy of nerves and curiosity. We have kept him out of the room where Ava is sleeping, but while supervised we let him come in and take a look. He keeps a safe distance because he senses that the bassinet is not for him, and he stares at her through the mesh (the white square on the right of the picture). He will be a good big brother once he figures things out. 


She is only five days old, so she hasn't made up her mind what she wants to be when she grows up and I am not pressuring her into anything. If she wants to be an astronaut, then fine, I won't stop her. But she can be anything she wants: astrophysicist, aerospace engineer, astronomer, space lawyer, whatever.

Ava has been showered in love both from near and far in her short time, and I anticipate this will continue because she is very lovable. Kelsey and I are so grateful that she arrived in good health and are committed to doing the best job that we can for her even though we have no idea what we are doing.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

Dear Ava

Dear Ava,

I passed the 37 week mark yesterday, so technically we could meet face-to-face any day now, although I think you're going to make me wait a little longer. I'm telling myself you won't be here until 41 weeks, so that I can stay productive and patient until then.

I hope you're comfy in my belly. I know I haven't been sleeping well lately (apparently this is normal in late pregnancy), but it seems you took the opportunity to have a dance party in my tummy last night, so I hope it was a good party. I never thought I would love having a big belly, but I've really grown quite attached to having you nearby.

We've already gone on lots of adventures in the past 9 months and there will be many more once you get out here! Your very first trip was a pilgrimage to Williamsburg, VA (we will take you there again one day) to celebrate my 30th birthday with some friends. Of course, I couldn't do a lot of celebrating, but that was okay. We also went to our first MAE concert together. They never play shows live anymore, so we really lucked out with that! I finished up my last semester of working at GW University in DC (a lot of metro rides) and then your dad and I moved to TX in May! I had to fly back home briefly to say goodbye to your great grandmother, who is my mom's mother. I will tell you all  about her one day.

South TX is completely different from where we're from, but we think you'll like it. It's always warm and sunny, but sometimes there are storms, so your dad and I ended up exploring Dallas with you for almost a week during August to escape Hurricane Harvey. When we got back to Corpus Christi, it actually felt like home.

We moved here for your dad's job, so while he has been working, I've mostly been getting to know our new home and cooking a lot. I also write a lot of our blog posts:) I'm not sure if/when I'll try to go back to work after your born, but we'll take it one step at a time and make sure you're in good hands either way. Sometimes, when I make your dad breakfast before he leaves for work, he thinks that is probably worth foregoing the extra income. I never  wanted us to fall into such traditional gender roles, but we also believe that each of us is strong in different areas, and one of my strengths happens to be making breakfast.

Your dad has been very supportive of us this entire pregnancy. It took him a few days to realize I was actually pregnant instead of just making a big deal over nothing (as is NEVER the case). But when we found out you were a girl, we already had the name. Ava is the first name of one of your great grandmothers, even though she doesn't go by that. I remember us deciding to name you after her on a trip to Philadelphia a few years ago. I'm a little apprehensive about giving you my middle name, only because I don't want you to think I want you to be me or anything, I just have always really loved my middle name and I hope you will too:)

Recently, I've seen your dad start to get really excited about you getting here, although he shows his excitement in different ways than I do. He came with me to your 36 week appointment and immediately after started doing a daily spinning ride. I think he is training for fatherhood. We also went to Target last week and he tried to take me to the baby section BEFORE the electronics section. One day you'll realize how big of a deal this is. He was also invited on a last minute trip to Florida for work that I told him to go on (he is very competent and generous and so people invite him for stuff like this a lot), but he was so relieved when he found out he didn't have to go. I very rarely see him stressed, but he was so worried you would decide to show up without him here, and he wouldn't miss that for the world!

We don't know a ton of people in Texas yet, but you have had people all over the world sending you presents for the past couple of months. I'm not sure if you will ever appreciate the cuteness of your clothes and shoes at this point, but your dad and I will definitely appreciate having things to put you in when you get home.

At this point, mostly we can't wait to meet you. I'm so excited and nervous that I think that is making it harder to sleep....think the excitement of a thousand Christmas Eves combined with the anxiety before you take a test that will determine the rest of your life! There is so much we want to introduce you to here. I have no doubt that the warmth of my belly is a lot more comfortable and calm than the real world (even with me jostling you a million times a night), but there is so much good in the outside world, even though it isn't always comfortable. Some of my favorite things about this outside world include music, food, different kinds of people (SO many different kinds), stories, sunshine, breezes, and mountains. Oh, and animals! We have an animal called a cat who is a part of our family. You will love him.

You are the first child we have coming out of my tummy, so we want to thank you in advance for your patience with us as we figure out how to be parents. We promise we will get better at it as time goes on and that we will NEVER stop trying to be better. We are lucky to have lots of friends and family members who have helped raise us and will help support us into being the best parents for you that we can be. I don't think you can ever be 100% ready for the life-changing role that parenthood brings, but we are ready to show up and give it our best whenever you want to make your appearance.

Love,
Mom
(That's the first time I have ever called myself that. I hope I get used to it.)



Tuesday, September 12, 2017

One Month To Go!

First things first: Mike was extremely disappointed that these pictures from our time in Dallas did not make the last blog, so he insisted I include them here. This was a morning when I made Mike wake up early to go on a long walk on the Katy trail (a long biking/walking/running path downtown) and we found this little guy by the path. 

We are the same

Twins


36 Weeks Update:





Cravings: My cravings have not been too too strong this pregnancy, but some things that are odd. I've still been really into dairy, especially whole milk and sour cream. I put sour cream on a banana nut muffin the other week. Mike thought I was so weird, but then he realized it was genius and delicious and ate it.

Workouts: Still doing prenatal yoga, walking, strength training, and the occasional spin ride (although that will probably end soon). I've noticed that I need to walk in shorter spurts or I start to feel a heaviness in my uterus after a while. I'll elaborate more on this below!

Feeling (Physically): I'm physically feeling fine. My belly is definitely prominent (my belly button could become an outtie at any second), but I'm not getting any swelling or anything. The weather has been much better here in Corpus lately, so that could have something to do with it too. When we got checked at our appointment today, we found out that Ava is measuring in the 89th percentile of babies for size, so it looks like we have a big baby on the way! Ultrasounds can be a little off, but according to the findings, she is due to end up around 9 pounds, so we'll see! Ava is also head down and apparently very low in my pelvis (why I feel heaviness when walking a lot). My cervix hasn't opened at all, but I'm 75% effaced, so I'm hoping this means she won't go past my due date too long.

Feeling (Emotionally): While I'm physically feeling fine, I've definitely been having a little more anxiety lately and have had difficulty sleeping. I think it's just a product of feeling like I have a lot to do before she gets here. I have been getting in some naps during the day and feel so fortunate to be able to do that!

Left to Do: SO MUCH! I need to pack our hospital bags, finalize our birth plan, freeze some meals for the postpartum period, wash all of Ava's clothes and linens, and make sure I have my playlist/affirmations/coping skills down for labor. It actually doesn't sound that bad, but since babies can come early, it's best to be prepared sooner!


Who knows if we'll get in another update before she gets here!